Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
nutella sex= disaster
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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