is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
