the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I am mentally ready for anal.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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