I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Alive.
So much puke
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
