I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Drunk is not a location!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
