Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
