It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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