Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
