is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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