i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
No subtext here. People are naked.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
