Rock
Scissors
Fuck
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
