Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
