In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
this is an emotional support booty call
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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