We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
