I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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