Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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