girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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