How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
oh god the rape fog is back!
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
