I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
