My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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