got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
