Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
wow bdsm is so cute
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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