I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
