Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
