I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
