No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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