don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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