I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
