JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
