how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
