Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
