I wannas sexs uuuuu
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
