Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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