That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
