just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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