I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize