Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize