My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
