You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
