I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
