I'm going to jail i love you
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize