well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
