You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
