either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
