well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize