guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
