You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
