She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
