if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Randomize