We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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