And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
