I think im going to throw up on grandma
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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