I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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