I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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