Dual....:-)
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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