Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
