there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize