I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Still dying that you shit outside
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
