apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
This is the high leading the old right now
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
