:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's shark week go big or go home
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
