you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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